Never Opened Myself This Way...

Was a little upset for sometime... Had been goin' through a lotta mental turmoil for quite a long time. Wasn't actually able to find a way out... Seemed like everything was over... Was too much for me to bear... Then last night, after I reached home, I started listening to my Gods... And then this one song popped-up suddenly. The words are not too great, the lyrics perhaps not the best in the world, but there's somethin' abt this song that soothes the one listening to it...

There come so many times in a person's life when things seem down. Hope becomes the last word... In times like this, this one song might be able to help u regain ur mind a bit... given that u understand what the song is all about...

Here it is...

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know...

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know...

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say...
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters...

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters.... *

Hope this song helps u also in ur time of need and mental peace...

And maybe u might want to think a little too...

Keep ur eyes comin' back...

Love, Peace n' Harmony
Sam.

© Prateek Sharma Mar 2006


* Source:- encycmet.com

The Bleedin' Of Me...

I was just listening to a probably one of the best songs (by my all-time favourite band, Metallica) called "Bleedin' Me" . Somehow this song seems so relatable at this given point of time in my life. I can't really exlpain more... Just go thru it, if u will...



"I'm diggin' my way
I'm diggin' my way to somethin'
I'm diggin' my way to somethin' better
I'm pushin' to stay
I'm pushin' to stay with somethin'
I'm pushin' to stay with somethin' better

I'm sowing the seeds
I'm sowing the seeds I take
I'm sowing the seeds I take for granted
This thorn in my side
This thorn in my side is from the tree
This thorn in my side is from the tree I've planted

It tears me and I bleed
And I bleed

Caught under wheels roll
I take the leash, I'm bleeding me
Can't stop to save my soul
I take the leash that's bleeding me
I'm bleeding me
Oh, I can't take it
Caught under wheels roll
Oh, the bleeding of me
Oh, of me
The bleeding of me

Caught under wheels roll
I take the leash, I'm bleeding me
Can't stop to save my soul
I take the leash that's bleeding me
I'm bleeding me
Oh, I can't take it
Caught under wheels roll
Oh, the bleeding of me
Oh, the bleeding of me

I am the beast that bleeds the feast
I am the blood, I am release
Come make me pure, bleed me a cure
I'm caught, I'm caught, I'm caught under

Caught under wheels roll
I take that leash, I'm bleeding me
Can't stop to save my soul
I take the leash that's bleeding me
I'm bleeding me
Oh, I can't take it
I can't take it
I can't take it
Oh, the bleeding of me

I'm diggin' my way
I'm diggin' my way to somethin'
I'm diggin' my way to somethin' better
I'm pushin' to stay
I'm pushin' to stay with somethin'
I'm pushin' to stay with somethin' better

With somethin' better..." *

Can u feel what this is all about?

Think.

Keep ur eyes comin' back...

Love, Peace n' Harmony
Sam.

© Prateek Sharma Mar 2006



* Source:- Encyclopedia Metallica.

The Never-Ending Fall... The Abyss...

Ur feet lose ground. U lose balance. U bend forward, backward, sideways... towards every side. U try to stand still. It's hard. REALLY hard. But it is very difficult. It seems like an eternity before u can actually regain control. But as soon as u do, u lose it again. This time the intensity of the force that's making u fall is even higher. Beyond any measure, beyond ur control. No matter how hard ur tryin to stay put. Ur scared. Scared of so much. Of falling, of drowning, of not being able to save urself... and most of all... of death.

Scary, right? Of course it is. U wudn't know how scary it is unless u've been there. God forbid that u ever have to face such a situation in ur life. IF there is a God, anyway.

But then, there do come certains phases in ur life when u feel exactly the same. And most of the times u just want this phase to get over as soon as it can. U try. Try harder. Hardest in ur capabilities. Then when ur done trying and ur tired, desperation sets in. Now comes another phase. It's called PANIC. When this happens, ur in for trouble.

Ever seen or heard or read abt someone drown in water? U know what happens? There's water all around, and the person's goin' down. Faster than he can even think. He plunges deeper. He starts groping all around him for something to hold on to, but all that his hands can find is water. He tries to search for something firm below his feet, but again all that he can find is water. In his exhasperation of trying to stand firm, he tends to exert so much that he starts to exhaust all his reserve of energy. It's all burnt out. But to no avail. And in this moment, he does the one thing that he shouldn't do. He tries to breathe. But again, instead of air, he breathes water. The creator then becomes the ultimate destroyer. Now the guy has 3 seconds flat.

Scary, yet again, right? Of course it is.

This is how an abyss is. If you ever fall into one, you r completely unaware of how far u hv to fall. Whether u can find the pit is a question that most of the times can not be answered, becoz of the sheer depth of the abyss.

U might find urself in such a situation, not literally, but metaphorically.

What can u do to avoid such a situation? The answer lies with u... But NOT just u...

Isn't it?

Think.


Keep ur eyes comin' back.

Love, Peace n' Harmony
Sam.



© Prateek Sharma Mar 2006

Space n' Time... How Much???? {Part I}

Friendships. Relationships. Many other associations with ppl around u. Everyone has these in his/her life. Some have more, some less. Some are blessed 'coz they have some real good quality ppl in their lives. Some, on the other hand, are not so blessed. Call it fate, or whatever pleases u.

Now, when u r into any of these (frndships, relationships etc.), the one most important thing that everyone advises u, and which sooner or later dawns upon u, is that u hv to give each other the proper time and space, so that both ppl concerned do not feel suffocated or cramped, and they get the required respect they deserve.

In every such equation that u share with others, some conflicts are bound to happen. They might be over big issues, or over very petty things. Sometimes they just happen, maybe because the lack of it. (U know, just becoz there hvnt been any conflicts or disagreements for a long time, they happen.) And there is this strong belief in my head that for any relationship to actually grow, certain disagreements and conflicts are very much required.

But certain things again hv to be kept in mind. "How much" is the question. If u can strike a balance there, nothing can go wrong. Obviously, things are not 100% under ur control, but then by knowing this balance, u can eliminate most of the chances of things goin' wrong.

Then again, this is NOT the only balance that has to be maintained. Hereafter comes the bundle of the two most important things that have to be taken care of.

1. Space.

2. Time.

Well, I am not talkin' abt the concepts of physics here, even though it might seem like that. (Listing the two points like that reminds me of my old physics workbook that I had in school!!)

Space is a very complicated term, yet very simple. Some people understand its meaning very clearly, some do not. Then there are some who have to be educated in this aspect.

Some people are naturally very good at giving others around them a lot of space. Sometimes so much, that people might spill out too! But usually, they just give the right amount required.

Some people, on the other hand, are not so good at it. They feel the other people a little cramped. They don't give them any space to think, to act, to react. This becomes a little taxing for almost all of the people involved. This situation, if left unchecked and unamended, might lead to grave consequences. The occurance of the word "grave" here is not a coincidence. It finally leads the frndship/relationship to the grave, not at all resting in peace.

The second aspect is Time. Again, the two kinds of people that I was talkin' abt in the preceding paragraph are to be found in this situation. Time IS required by one and all to make anything work for them. Time to think, to analyse, to like, to hate, to feel guilty... Thousands of things require time.

The one thing that matters after all this is that how much of both the elements should be given and taken by both the sides concerned? Do we take out time to think abt it?

I'm sure most of us have seen splendid friendships being formed because of the proper balance, and many being completely destroyed, either slowly or rapidly.

Isn't it?

It would be good if u wud think a little on this. I am sure certain things could be corrected, if there IS anything going wrong at all.

Right?

Will write more on this soon. Til that time, keep ur eyes comin' back.

Love, Peace n' Harmony
Sam.

© Prateek Sharma Mar 2006

Choosin' My Confessions...

A lot of things happen in a person's life. Many things certainly affect the course of ur life in more ways than one. Sometimes these effects are short-lived, while sometimes they affect u for such a long time that it feels like a whole life-time. If the effects are good, u dont want them to change... That's pretty easy to understand.

But, when these effects r unfavourable, things that make u sad, make u feel low, very low at times... those r the times when u want that things shud get back to the way they initially were.

Many things lead to this situation. Sometimes, there r circumstances, that neither u nor anyone else can change. Sometimes, u and/or others surrounding u r at fault. Well, not exactly at "fault", but maybe not right at that given point of time.

Things might worsen if u r at one end and there r more than one people at the other, and poles become the order of the day. This polarity might lead to further complications. That's because more often than not, there is power in number. And obviously, "one" IS less than "many". When such a situation arises, u find urself under a barrage of a series of questions and at times accusations. Because of the difference in the polarity, the flow becomes one-way. U find urself at the recieving end, hardly getting any chance to speak ur heart out. Sometimes u listen quietly, not knowing what else to do. Rather, mostly u listen.

U might as well understand that it takes two to tango. If there is something that went wrong, then there are somethings that both sides did wrong. U understand urs. And then...

And then u take the courage to say it out loud. To admit that u had been wrong at some places and u want to remove all such happenings from the future. U really want it from the bottom of ur heart. U take a long time to choose ur words. To frame what u wanna say. U go through it in ur mind, over n over again... so many times that u virtually remember what u want to say. Finally, ur doin' something that u hadn't ever thought u wud do... Ur choosin' ur confessions...

But... u find that u can't really confess those confessions to the ones that u want to... Again, many reasons, and possible explanations for those reasons... Some u buy, but some u really don't...

What r u supposed to do now? What abt the confessions u hv chosen?

U been there?

How does it feel?

Think. And confess.


Love, Peace n' Harmony
Sam.

© Prateek Sharma Mar 2006

Coming Back To Life...

Somehow this song very much explains certain things that hv been happening for sometime... Dun wanna explain more... Just read... and think...

Where were you
When I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by
From my window watching
Where were you
When I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say
And the things you do surround me

While you were hanging yourself
On someone else's words
Dying to believe
In what you heard
I was staring straight
Into the shining sun

Lost in thought
And lost in time
While the seeds of life
And the seeds of change were planted

Outside the rain
Fell dark and slow
While I pondered on
This dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride
Through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past
And coming back to life


I took a heavenly ride
Through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..
Into the shining sun... *


U been in such a state ever? Then u know how it feels...

If u've not, try to think.


Love, Peace n' Harmony
Sam.

© Prateek Sharma Mar 2006



* Source:- SongMeanings.

Which Brings Us At Last To The Moment Of Truth, Wherein The Fundamental Flaw Is Ultimately Expressed.... "HUH????"

U seen The Matrix? And what abt the sequels? How'd u find them? Confusin' at times, right? Well, that was the idea! Things that r not easily comprehensible r made all the more confusing, so that even if u r able to and can decipher the actuality behind the basic purpose of the action, u might, n most probably, will be somehow stopped from doing so.

U'd think even this last line was confusing. Well, if u think this was, just go through the matter that follows.

This is the actual transcript of the famous dialogue that happened between Neo and The Architect, when Neo enters the door behind which the Creator is sitting.


If this doesn't confuse u, ur gifted... It took me a couple of reads to fully understand its meaning.

Ready? Ok then, here we go!!!!



Architect: Hello Neo.

Neo: Who are you?

Architect: I am the Architect. I created the Matrix I've been waiting for you.
You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness you remain irrevocably human ergo some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not.
Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realise it is also the most irrelevant.

Neo: Why am I here?

Architect: Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. you are the eventuallity of an anomaly which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden asciduously avoided it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you inexorably....here

Neo: You haven't answered my question.

Architect: Quite right. Interesting...that was quicker than the others.

(TV "Neo"s:
Others [how many others?] what others? answer my question!)

Architect: The matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the 6th version.

(Tv Neos:
5 ones before me? 4...3..2.. what are you talking about? There are only 2 possible explanations, either no one told me....)
Neo: ...or no one knows.

Architect: Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly is systemic--creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.

(Tv Neos:
You can't contol me!
I'm gonna smash the wall
I'll fukkin kill you!
etc..)

Neo: Choice. The problem is choice.

Cut to Trinity vs Agent.

Architect: The first Matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art...flawless, sublime. And triumphed equally only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus. I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another--An intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the matrix, she would undoubtedly be its Mother.

Neo: The Oracle.

Architect: Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice...even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked would constitute an escalating probablility of disaster.

Neo: This is about Zion.

Architect: You are here because Zion is about to be destroyed--its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existance eradicated.

Neo: Bullshit
(TV Neos:
Bullshit!
Bullshit!
Bullshit!)

Architect: Denial is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest assured...this will be the 6th time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.


Cut to Trinity vs Agent

Architect: The function of the One is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which, you will be required to select from the matrix 23 individuals--16 females, 7 male--to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the Matrix, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.

Neo: You won't let it happen. You can't. You need human beings to survive.

Architect: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility of the death of every human being on this world.
It is interesting reading your reactions. Your 5 predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication--a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific--vis a vis..love.

Neo: Trinity.

Architect: Appropos, she entered the matrix to save your life, at the cost of her own.

Neo: No...

Architect: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end.
There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the Source, and the salvation of Zion. The door to your left leads back to the matrix, to her and to the end of your Species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already, I can see the chain-reaction--the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason--an emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth...she is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Architect: Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.

Neo: If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.

Architect: We won't.

Neo exits out of the left door.

Phew!!!

Isn't that amazing? That's what I call communication!!!


Think.


Love, Peace n' Harmony
Sam.